In the first place, women should be pretty
23 Jan 2011 2 Comments
in Stories from the world and me Tags: children, discrimination, equal rights, equality, feminism, future, help, love, opportunities, religion, thoughts, Veronika Jemelikova, women empowerment
I watched a short movie tonight. It was about a young woman in Iran, who was voted by the inhabitants of her village as a member of the village council. She was a doctor and honorable member of the community. However, the council meeting never took place because the head of the council, another honorable man from the village, declined to participate on a meeting with a woman.
He was eighty and for sixty past years took part on important social events and decision making of his community. No matter what arguments were said and even though he himself accepted the young woman was a very good, active and honored person, he could never abandon traditions that were rooted in him so deeply. The village itself was facing many problems and their solution required a council meeting, but the tradition and the old man’s stubbornness was stronger than the need to serve to people who elected him as well as the young woman. It seemed like the irrationality of the traditional dogmas was way stronger than the reason.
After seeing this movie I again realized, as already many times in the past, how the role of men and women is in contemporary world complicated. It is not only about women and their disadvantages. It is about the change is structures, change that undermined the traditional balance of power and challenged the very identity of manhood and womanhood.
Iran is not exactly the country where women empowerment would flourish on every corner. There you will rather find representatives of the religion police checking women obeying the correct dress code.
But as much as I think about any women in any country all over the world, no matter if Muslim, Hindu or Christian, it always brings me back to my own “community” or rather society that surrounds me. And of course I can find plenty of enlightened men, who identified their role in the newly established society and balance of power among male and females. And they not only found their own balance and confidence, but also accepted the new forms of identities which women are adopting.
But as in this movie, I am still finding some of the traditionalist dinosaurs, who refuse to see any change and stick to the traditions known to them, being too afraid of change d’affairs and what role would they be able to take in all of that.
And of course the third group….men that know things are changing, but just cannot decide what they like better. The housewife, the independent famme fatale, girl with little bit of all?
But I don’t want to talk just about man. Not every girl even if she has the opportunity is a feminist who fights for equal rights and on the other hand there are many, who do not have the opportunity of equality, who fight for it with all their soul….as the lady in Iranian movie.
I think there will always be housewives and there will always be crazy girls trying to be as good as men in every aspect of their lives. But really the difference is the environment which allows the women to choose. Why women would not be all of the mentioned during just one lifetime. It is like the world wants us to choose between a great career and children. And at the same time when women chooses not to have children, the tradition still judges her. Man’s value, when he becomes a father, rises immediately, it adds him more honor and credibility. There have been polls showing that this can be seen even in the rise of salary. Woman, when she becomes a mother, is immediately seen as a problematic worker, she is no longer seen as reliable and the polls again show that the salary of a mother is lower than a salary of women without child (not talking about the comparison male-female salary, but just so you know, on the same position western women receive 87% of men’ salary)
I am not really a feminist, I don’t want to compete with men and I believe there are certain areas where the skills of males and females differ and so it is natural that they both are better in different things. But I still believe that both should have the possibility to work as whatever they want regarding their sex or do whatever sport they like, because why they shouldn’t have?
I laugh at sexist jokes, because what else is left to do. Of course, some are laughable and some painful. I’ve heard thousands of jokes about women’s intelligence about our attitude towards money, I opposed arguments that all women are gold-diggers. I also heard jokes about my own lack of professionalism, my empty head, I faced question about my plans to start family during job interview, I was not shaken hand because I was female. My rationality was on many occasions doubted because I show emotions and I’ve heard way too many jokes about the PM syndrome. I was told women are not as good managers as men and I was told: “why would you work so hard if you can just marry?” I laughed at all of this and I know I will in the future. Does it upset me? Yes. Will this ever change…probably not.
As I was told by my colleague – Girl has to be in the first place pretty. The rest is not that important.
And trying to satisfy the needs of ambivalent society, while reading Fukuyama and studying French I am sweating in the gym, putting my make up on and feeling bad about not knowing how to prepare sirloin stake….
We are the generation to find the right balance between all this, career, family, quality free time, education, love and care. We are facing the biggest challenge, probably comparable to global warming and weapons of mass destruction and this is finding balance in our homes, in our beds and our minds. No matter if Iran, Afghanistan or Czech Republic. Bring it on.
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