Just a smile away from happiness

Learn to walk

11 Oct 2011 Leave a Comment

by jemelikova in Stories from the world and me

The previous story was to be continued, so here we go.

I had two – one less and another more successful - operations. They fixed my  myspine and reemplaced one vertebra. Now I am full of titan, so my stock price has rosen .

After spending 10 days in hospital in Slovakia now it is almost another three weeks in hospital here in Czech Republic. Yes, they transported me here in a helicopter, but after  being in Afghanistan that was not even the cool part…although it is true that the landscape was much more beautiful here.

There is nothing nice about hospital life. Because hospitals are for sick people. They smell funny and people are usually not happy.  So actually having to be in a hospital is the best motivation for getting better…because that means you can get out of here.

I was lucky to be put in quite a nice rehabilitation, the walls are colourful, there are balls of different sizes and colours everywhere and the staff is nice. That is however not reducing my will to leave this place. but for that I had to get out of my bed. Because of my spine healing I will not be able to sit for at least next month or two. So there are only choices to be in bed or up on my feet. I thought it would be easier than it was. First couple of days here it was tough. Anytime I tried to get up my head just blacked out. Because I spent so much time lying down my brain just shut down from lack of brain whenever I stood up. It took two days of trying but finally I was on my feet and standing for more than a minute. It was time for my first steps.

There is a long corridor on this floor connecting all the rooms. This was my first road to travel. Step by step I was discovering world behind walls of our room. And there were people I didn’t know and there was so much to see yes, one gets crazy when locked to a bed for so long.

From then I am able to walk more and more every day. It is still a long way to the marathon… but it will happen. My legs are still shaky and it seems like if all my muscles decided to just disappear. So it takes so much work to put everything back in place.

But I am so excited to progress. It is such a huge change. From traveling the world and being such an independent person I became so dependent and limited. But it opened another serie of challenges for me. Challenges I never thought I would have to face. Those moments, couple tens of minutes I can spend walking per day are the light of my days now. Escaping my bed is worth all the pain.

Sometimes world tells you to slow down. In my case it shouted it on me. So here I am. Hey!

To tell the story is part of the healing

07 Oct 2011 3 Comments

by jemelikova in Stories from the world and me

So what happened? It is time to tell the story. Writing in hospital bed is not one of the easiest ones, but I will do it. To tell the story is part of the healing process.

So I was traveling Latin America. And it was awesome. Three ladies on the road working for women empowerment. I didn’t keep up writing this blog because well it was not right time.

Ok….where was I… oh yes. I am on the airport in Lima, Peru. You know the airports, you taste all the free chocolate covered nuts, spray some perfumes on and try to find something to read. And there it was. Born to run. AMAZING book. That is what Lindsay told me. And she is amazing. So I got the book and read it before we landed in Madrid. Suddenly I knew I was born to run, deep down there I was one of the running people, small tribe lost in Mexican mountains, who are among the last people still holding up to traditions based on the very nature of human kind. Well. This is not THAT important for the story, but you should REALLY REALLY read the book.

So I get stuck in Madrid, delays, blah blah blah. The important thing is why am I going home. I was gone almost 5 months in Latin America after another 14 months I was in Afghanistan. There were roads to be traveled, but I felt like going home, after being gone for so long. The most important thing is that me and Kristyna really wanted to go paragliding. I did a tandem flight in Medellin, Colombia. And….well… I was FLYING. You know….like really. And I wanted to do it again. So I decided to go home earlier to make it to the last paragliding course of the season.

I am not going to lie, I am a crazy person. I little bit for sure. I came home and after not more than 24 hours I was in a car going to Slovakia for a week of paragliding. Yes. Not only has Slovakia absolutely amazing cheese, but the mountains. It is my childhood. I walked those trails up and down since I was 3 but have not come back for many many years. And here I was again. Cows hanging out on green fields, mountain tops and flying.

You know the movie Arizona Dream? The reason I love it is not just because of Johnny Depp, even though there are things in the world I would love just because of Johnny Depp. It is because of a dream to fly and foolishness with which it’s accomplished. The first time I flied it was hysterical, crazy, dreamy and just right. My hidden wings spread out and my feet left the ground. And then I did it again, and again, running up that small unimportant hill until my legs hurt like hell to experience the best sensation ever, fly. Well…not saying in was no problemo all the time, there were some bushes I saw thoroughly while taking off and some trees I missed just from the right distance. But then clouds came and I was able to catch thermals and spend my first tens of minutes just cruising the air back and forth. I was in love. Because this was it, you know there were some broken hearts. Sports that amazed me and then I found myself being dragged through sea weed, being strangled by kite and hit by surf (seriously, how can you possibly manage so many elements at the time while kite surfing? And I just cannot handle all that salty water in my eyes).But this? Hiking, mountains, views, flying, cute mountain chalets with jummy food, running down a hill with your hands spread open?…this was me.

But you know the story of love. You find him, he is cute and funny, you flirt and dance a night away, go to movies, hold hands, kiss the first time, spend weeks f*cking your brains out and then…. you get your heart broken….or your back….

After first four cuddling days we were ready for a big step. I was ready to be taken up to the biggest mountain, as high as the birds fly. And it was perfect. Scary, but something like being on a carousel. You scream because its fun, but you want more. So we hit it of. The whole day, hot air allowed me to spin 360s high under the clouds, see across mountain summits, dams, towns and people looking like ants. We did our turns on the dance-floor, training figures and landing spotlessly. It was our honeymoon. I was sold that day. Not only am I from the tribe of running people. My wings were out, not to be hidden again.

And then there was the last day. Just couple more figures and I was a pilot. Everything was perfect. Love was fulfilled. So this last flight was just for me. And the thermals were great. I was spinning 360 together with a guy across me and went up even faster than he did, and he was not even a beginner. But I didn’t put my gloves on this time. And it was cold. So I decided not to get sassy about how great it went for me and flew to landing field. The air was just a liiitle rough and it didn’t feel quite right spinning and descending. I thought I should check in though walkie-talkie, but I didn’t. I did this so many times without any trouble. Why should this time be different? So I just kept flying smoothly to the wind sock. But I saw how it just flickers in the wind in so many directions, it kept changing every second. The wind was getting stronger so I almost stood in place and decided to do one more turn which took me to different place than I thought. I was trying to get closer to the wind sock flying just above the tree tops. All of the sudden my glider asymmetrically collapsed. A figure we trained earlier that day. A figure that occurs from time to time and it’s perfectly safe…if you are couple hundred meters above the ground (it’s a paradox, but paragliding is safer higher you are). But I was too low and before the glider blew up again…

Well you know the dreams about falling down. I remember I was having this dream a lot. Dream in which I was hanging in some high place, like a bridge, tree, big gate….something Dali would paint. So I am hanging up there and I know I have to jump down or I will fall anyway. And I know that it is too high even for cats with 70 lives. I am not sure what happens after I fall in that dream.

So now was the time of heart-breaking. I am falling down 20 meters to the ground. I remember it very well and lively. There is the tree on the side and in the millisecond I thought how should I land to fix this. Legs first? Well there is this back protector on my but…. And I hit the ground. Incredible pain shoots through my back and my legs. And than there is nothing. No legs. I am lying there in nicely smelling golden grass that shivers in the air. OK. I live. And I don’t feel my legs. Fucking paragliding. I should have stayed in Peru. Nobody is calling me so I check in….I need help. It takes a couple of minutes before they find me. A second takes century. Maybe you should call the ambulance straight away. I don’t feel my legs. And here they are. Faces saying it will be ok. But it hurts. It hurts like hell and if something ever didn’t feel OK, this was it. Please let it be ok, please let it be ok. I don’t pray very often. Now I did. Minutes before the ambulance followed by helicopter arrives take forever. Please let it be ok. Everybody says I will be fine. The red men are here. But they don’t say anything. Why would they not say it will be ok? It’s a spine? Yes. It’s a spine. And that’s it.